Su-er -a-er Doo-liss: The Quest to -rotect the 'P'
by pepdog1
Summary: A couple days after the events in Super Paper Mario: The Thousand Year Door, Doopliss finds himself in a bit of a predicament. His house has been taken, and now he and Starlow must travel around trying to stop Fawful from finding the "P", all while running away from the evil undead Duplighosts. This is going to be one bumpy ride... (Doopliss POV, rated T)
1. Chapter 1

Ow. Great. Just great. Boy, I'm in a lot of trouble, aren't I?

Ok, Doopliss. Pull yourself together. Done? Now, check that you have all your body parts.

Feet? Check. Head? Check. Eyes and mouth? Double check. Hands? Ch- wait. Not check. Where the heck are my hands?! Oh, wait, I never had hands in the first place. Ok then, strange sleeve-like things with nothing inside them that seem to float on their own? Check. Good. Everything is normal. My hat and bow tie are here too.

Now, Doopliss, recap so that you can be sure that you didn't forget anything.

First, I place a curse over the citizens of Twilight Town that turns them into pigs.

Second, a moustachioed man comes with his four companions and tries to get me to take the curse away.

Third, I use my Duplighost duplication powers to take the man's body, turning him into a shadow of himself.

Fourth, moustache man shadow teams up with another shadow and tries to get his body back by guessing my name, but he can't because I took away the lowercase "p", which is needed in my name.

Fifth, Slick somehow finds the "p" and guesses my name. I run to my tower to hide before the duplication spell can wear off.

Sixth, Slick and I have a battle with me using his little helpers to beat him up. Unfortunately, he uses this giant star and makes the ground shake underneath me, flinging me into the air repeatedly. That hurt. And the duplication spell wore off.

Finally, Slick pushes me out of the window on the top floor and I fall three stories down to where I am now. And that really hurt. He took that shiny red star I found too.

I get up and walk to the front door. Now with Slick gone, I can finally enjoy some "me" time without being interrupted.

Hold on a second. The door's locked. I never lock the door!

I bang on it loudly. "Hey! You in there! Open up, you killjoys!"

The door opens. Lucky. For it, I mean. If it didn't open I would have kicked it down. Unfortunately, there is somebody in the doorway.

He looked like some sort of bean. He had green skin, had a giant smile plastered on his face, and a pair of giant glasses with a swirl pattern. He was wearing a red cape that covered most of his body and was floating in mid-air. Or so I thought. After closer inspection, I saw that it was a hovercraft of some sort.

Never mind the details; somebody was in my house!

"Killjoy?" He asked in a strange warbled voice. "Oh, I have chortles. I am not the killer of joy, for I am the one giving life to it! You, do you kill or do you bring life? You must kill, because the other option is already taken!"

Somehow, this angers me.

"Listen, Slick! This here is private property, belonging to me! Not some run-of-the-mill Slick with a funny way of talking!"

"My name is not Slick, funny ghost! You are like a hilarity sauce on my hot dog of doom which brings me even more chortles! This property belongs to the faithful student of Cackletta, who is the name Fawful! I say to you WELCOME! Welcome to the Fawful House of Magic! Only open on Tuesdays."

It takes me a few seconds to piece together what the bean had said.

"So, your name is Fawful, and in the five minutes between me getting thrown out the window and waking up, you managed to turn my house into a tourist attraction?!" I shout. "It is called the 'Creepy Steeple' and I did not give you permission to change its name, let alone the interior design!"

"Oh, but the owner paid for the house, and he has a contract of doom mustard right here!" He smiles. "It is called doom mustard because without a house to live in the previous owner is doomed to live without mustard! It is irony, is it not?"

I sigh. Then I have an idea.

"It is Tuesday today, isn't it? So may I go inside?"

Fawful laughed. "Oh, even more chortles! It is a Friday, silly sauce of hilarity! You have to get up pretty late at night to pull the wool over this sheep's eyes!"

"Who's trying to pull the wool over who's eyes?" I ask angrily. "It was Tuesday the last time I checked, Slick, so stop pulling pranks! That's my job!"

"I HAVE FURY!" he yelled. "How dare you call Fawful a job-stealing sheep of pranks? Midbus! Remove this sauce from my sight immediately!"

A giant pink pig with tusks and a shell suddenly bursts through the door. I take a few steps backwards, only to trip and fall over.

"Holy princess of the Mushroom Kingdom! What in the name of one-ups is that thing?!"

"Thing is none other than Midbus, is this!" Fawful answers. "And throw you off of the property of Fawful, he will!"

I was frightened, something that is very hard to make me. Think, Doopliss, think! Then, I had a plan.

"Wait! It's Friday, correct?"

"Indeed." he answered.

Wow. I had been unconscious for three days. Oh, Doopliss, don't get off track!

"And I am not allowed inside, correct?"

"Correct, sauce, for those days I need to do evil stuffs! Like today, I has kidnapped the star sprite of the name Starlow and need to use the tower to attract lightning to I can harness her power to power my ruling machine to rule the world!"

Wow. A lot of words. I had no idea what that meant. But if he needed the tower, then the only thing I could do was take it from him! Karma, is it not? Great, now I'm starting to think like him!

I pretended to be defeated. "Fine, you can take the Creepy Steeple. But just one thing…"

Fawful leaned forwards, eager to hear what I had to say. "Yes?"

"I want to go up to the tower and collect my stuff."

Fawful laughed. "Deal! Oh, I have chortles! This sauce has hilarity still! Well, go on, Midbus! Let the sauce in!"

The pig moved out of the way. I hopped up and started to walk to the tower. My plan was simple. Lock the door to the tower so that that crazy bean and his pig couldn't get in! Just one more small joke before I left for real.

I suddenly hear Fawful's voice from behind me.

"NO! WAIT! SAUCE! YOU IS NOT ALLOWED IN THAT ROOM!"

I start to run. I had to get there, fast. That strange bean and his lackey were chasing me!

I high jumped and made it up there before them, using an old chest to block the door.

"Woo. That was a close one, Doopliss. Don't let that happen again!"

I suddenly hear some humming coming from the other side of the room. I turn to see a little yellow ball with brown shoes, dark eyes and a little yellow star hovering above her head. She had been tied to a chair and gagged with a cloth.

I hesitated for a bit. Should I help her? She kept looking at me, franticly humming and pleading me with her large eyes. I finally gave in and untied her.

"Wow, thank you!" She cried, once I had finished. "You're my hero!"

She floated up to me and gave me a kiss on the nose. I was stunned. I had never been praised before. Everybody just told me off for all my constant pranks or, because I am a ghost, they would just run away from me! Wow, Doopliss, did you just change your life forever with that one small act of kindness?

"… because he is the one I'm really looking for." She finished. I blinked, snapping out of my daydream.

"Could you say that again, Slick? I didn't catch that last bit."

She giggled. "My name's not Slick, it's Starlow! Anyway, I just asked if you know a "Mario" who came here three days ago. I'm looking for him so that he can help me stop Fawful and Midbus and their reign of terror! Well, the reign of terror that they are planning."

Mario. That name made something burn up inside of me, something angry.

"I can do anything that Mario can do! You don't need him to help you! That killjoy is nothing but trouble anyway!"

I cross my sleeve-like arms and face away from her.

"Fine. I guess you'll just have to help me then, Doopliss."

I flinch at the sound of my name. "How did you-?"

"You were talking to yourself when you came in." she giggled.

"No I wasn't!" I snap. "You're imagining things."

"Then why are you getting flustered?"

"I'm not getting flustered!"

"Yes, you are. You're also blushing."

I was? "N-no I'm not!"

"And now you are stuttering!" she giggled. "Really, Doopliss, it's obvious, so stop trying to get around it."

Suddenly, we heard a bang coming from the trap door. I knew what it was. The only way to get to the top of the Creepy Steeple is to jump on a spring, but with the chest covering the door, Slick-I mean, Fawful wouldn't be able to get through.

"Ouch! SAUCE! My fury is like a pot and you are bubbling deep down inside, and I am about to overflow with the furiousness of the most furious fury! I swear, this shall be the last pasta you ever see, so you better be prepared to be overcome by the powerful taste of the mustard of your doom! It's spicy!"

I suddenly reacted as a pink fist bursts through the chest. I grabbed Starlow with my sleeve-like arms and pulled her close to me.

"Hey! That's no way to treat a lady!" she protested, but I ignored her.

As soon as Midbus pulled himself up through the hole he had made, I knew that I had no choice. I did the first thing that came into my mind. I jumped out the window.


	2. Chapter 2

Oh, great. It was happening all over again. And this time I probably wouldn't survive, considering that I was very low on HP. I just closed my eyes, not wanting to see the ground come up and knock the life out of me.

Only thing was, the ground wasn't coming. I just kept falling and falling. What kind of predicament did you get yourself into now, Doopliss?

I open one eye cautiously. I soon see that we are not falling, but rather floating!

"Oof, you're a bit heavy!" Starlow complained. Then I realized.

"Slick?! You can float?!"

"Yeah, I can float. But I'm going to have to land now, 'cause you're getting kinda heavy."

We soon landed safely on the ground, only to be almost knocked out by the sheer loudness of Fawful's shouts.

"WHAT? WHERE IS IT?! HOW COULD IT BE MISSING?! IT'S A LETTER FOR GOODNESS SAKE! GIVE ME THAT, YOU SWINE!"

"What do you think is going on up there?" Starlow asked me.

I soon realized, and started laughing. "I stole the letter "p"!" I told her.

"The letter "p"? How could you steal a letter?" she asked.

I rub the back of my head. "Depends on whether you mean "How could you?" as in "how could you do something so evil?" or as in "how could that even be possible?", you see, Slick?"

"I mean it both ways, I guess. But-"

She was suddenly silent. I looked into her dark eyes to try and figure out what she was thinking of, but I just got blown away by her voice when she started to shout.

"WHAT?! E-e-evil? You never said anything about being evil! And to think that I almost let you walk off with me! You...you FREAK would probably just use me like Fawful did, maybe even worse! Oh, how could I have been so stupid?!"

She ranted on and on. I took my hat off in mock shame and fiddled with it, hanging my head, actually taking the time to look for an escape route. That's when I noticed. Gravestones. A fence. We were on the other side of the fence! The side with the gravestones!

Oh boy, Doopliss. You're in real big trouble now! I had to get that star sprite to shut up, but how?

I did the only thing I could do. I grabbed her with one hand and covered her mouth with the other. She started fidgeting, but I held tight.

"Listen, Slick. Slick, listen!" I hiss. "Do you know where we are? We're in a Duplighost Graveyard. When you floated, you ended up flying us over the fence."

Starlow struggled from between my hands, pushing herself out.

"So what? Hello, YELLO! Why do we need to be quiet?"

"I don't think you realize what kind of trouble we're in, Slick! When Duplighosts die, they don't really die! They just kind of fall into an internal slumber."

"Cool!" she exclaimed loudly. I shushed her.

"No, not cool!" I whispered loudly. "Bad! Very bad! If you keep shouting, they will wake up. And once they wake up they will hunt you down and kill you!"

Starlow paled. "Y-you're lying, Doopliss. Tell me you're lying."

Ok, Doopliss, now we need to get out. But how? I don't know where the exit is!

I suddenly feel a sharp pain in my neck. Brushing my hand over it, I feel a cold, metal thing. I pull it out and look at it.

A dart? Where did it come from? Was it a tranquilizer dart? Does this mean I'm going to be knocked out soon?!

We suddenly hear warbled laughing from behind the fence. Fawful.

"I HAVE CHORTLES!" He laughed loudly. "I have put the strawberry in the sauce, the strawberry that goes on top of his slice of the shortcake of love! The first that the sauce sees will become the icing on the shortcake, and the only way to break the spell is to create a half-cake! Only then shall you be able to decide whether or not to go after the full cake!"

"Cake, sauce, strawberries, whatever! Just shush!" I hiss. "You're gonna get us in a lot of trouble, Slick!"

"Hi-ya! Mr. L to the rescue! I'll save you Starlow!"

We all turned to see a tall man with black overalls, a green scarf, black mask, big moustache and a black cap with a backwards "L" on it swinging from a vine into the graveyard.

"Aha! It is the green capsicum!" Cried Fawful, louder than I would've liked. "He has come in the place of the red capsicum; a great feat for somebody so cowardly!"

The green man seemed slightly shaken by the bean's words, and accidentally lost his grip on the vine, flying straight on top of me.

"Oof! Ouch…"

I could feel my HP being drained out of me. By the feel of it, I had only 5 HP left, 7 tops.

"Uh, Mr. L to the rescue?" The man said sheepishly. I glare at him. He pales.

"G-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g…" He stutters.

I smile evilly, hoping to scare the green man. "Ghost?"

"GHOST!" He shouts. He jumps off of me and starts running towards the exit, only to trip and fall after taking a few steps.

The ground suddenly started rumbling. I could feel myself going white as a sheet or, considering that I was already a sheet, as white as bleached snow. Why? Because I knew what was happening.

I quickly jump to my feet and pull the green man towards me, causing him to fall over backwards as he had just gotten up. I then grab Starlow, hugging her close to my chest as I curl up in a ball, closing my eyes tightly. She protests for a bit, but is soon silenced by the sound of creepy laughter.

I crack open one eye cautiously just in time to see all hell break loose.

The floor around us suddenly burst open, and hundreds, no, thousands of Duplighosts came shooting up, their warbling laughter sounding like a whole bunch of crickets. The green man rushed to my side, joining me in the huddle, scared out of his wits.

Then, everything went black.


End file.
